Sing along

Tune: Diamonds are a girl's best friend.  (Actually I have to apologise because the lyrics don't fit in with the whole tune since I got two tunes mixed up in my head.  Sorry about that.  I just can't be motivated to change it at the moment so by all means sing along with the first half of each verse and make up the music for the second half like I inadvertantly did!)

A date with a girl can be quite sentimental

But a penis is a boy’s best friend

When it comes down to things that are quite fundamental

In my mind there is no doubt

I get my willy out

I love to caress him and he’ll never complain

He’s a friend for all weathers, be it sunshine or rain

And he’s fun to take with you for a holiday in Spain

Yes a penis is a boy’s best friend

It’s tough on the girls who were born with them missing

And they have to borrow ours instead

The poor little things have to sit down when they’re pissing

But we boys don’t have to care

We wave them in the air

When spanking girls’ bottoms our trousers go tight

If you haven’t got a girl to spank then watching films is alright

Your faithful old chum will keep you company at night

Yes a penis is a boy’s best friend.

(instrumental break)

What fun is to see when a girl gets a caning

And to see her little bum turn red

I reach for my dick because it’s so entertaining

When I see those stripes appear

I come over all queer

I can’t begin to tell you what thoughts they invoke

But I guess somehow my feelings are the same as any other bloke

So I pull out my willy and I give him a stroke

Yes a penis is a boy’s best friend.