Song - Ode to the Troll

Tune: The Laughing Policeman

I am a cyber mischief-maker

Some call me a troll

Upsetting all the folks out there

Is my life’s only goal

I haven’t got a girlfriend

And I haven’t got a wife

The only pleasure that I get

Is causing others strife

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha !

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha !

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha !

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha !

I have a nice computer

It connects me to the Net

I like to join in forums

You should see the fun I get

When I wind up all the punters

Question their intelligence

I clutch my sides and laugh with glee

To see them take offence

Chorus

I like to visit spanking sites

They are a bed of riches

Some take life so seriously

It curls me up in stitches

They think somehow that double D’s

A lifestyle not a bra

The only thing I say to that is

Tee-hee-ha-ha-ha!

Chorus

My favourite vids are from guys

Who do their stuff for money

Most of them can’t act for shit

It is intensely funny

I like the spanking models though;

To see them caned is bliss

Although the guys a-whacking them

Are just taking the piss.

Chorus

Some bloggers must have shit for brains

While others are precocious

Many spout a load of crap

Their spelling is atrocious

Who gives a stuff how many times

They got spanked yesterday?

Do me a great big favour mate

And kindly go away

Chorus

You think I might be prejudiced

But it’s not true you see

Gay or straight or black or white

You’re all the same to me

If you want to have an argument

Then I’m the boy to call

Just pay me some attention

And we’ll really have a ball

Chorus (repeat for as long as you like)

Sing along

Tune: Diamonds are a girl's best friend.  (Actually I have to apologise because the lyrics don't fit in with the whole tune since I got two tunes mixed up in my head.  Sorry about that.  I just can't be motivated to change it at the moment so by all means sing along with the first half of each verse and make up the music for the second half like I inadvertantly did!)

A date with a girl can be quite sentimental

But a penis is a boy’s best friend

When it comes down to things that are quite fundamental

In my mind there is no doubt

I get my willy out

I love to caress him and he’ll never complain

He’s a friend for all weathers, be it sunshine or rain

And he’s fun to take with you for a holiday in Spain

Yes a penis is a boy’s best friend

It’s tough on the girls who were born with them missing

And they have to borrow ours instead

The poor little things have to sit down when they’re pissing

But we boys don’t have to care

We wave them in the air

When spanking girls’ bottoms our trousers go tight

If you haven’t got a girl to spank then watching films is alright

Your faithful old chum will keep you company at night

Yes a penis is a boy’s best friend.

(instrumental break)

What fun is to see when a girl gets a caning

And to see her little bum turn red

I reach for my dick because it’s so entertaining

When I see those stripes appear

I come over all queer

I can’t begin to tell you what thoughts they invoke

But I guess somehow my feelings are the same as any other bloke

So I pull out my willy and I give him a stroke

Yes a penis is a boy’s best friend.

LOL Gorillas

"Listen lady, can you keep the noise down a bit?  Some of us are trying to get some sleep!"

 

"Holy Moses is that the time?  I should have been home two hours ago!"